You are much more than a friend and yet
I was never hoping for more than that.
Yes, I am attracted by the lust in your eyes,
but I should have never kissed you.
I am so confused by what this fucking means.
The impact that this detachment will have on me
is one I cannot express or fully grasp at the moment.
I am scared to lose the light you gave my life up here.
I never quite got my gratitude out there enough, but here it is,
all of it, inside of my heart.
It's written on the walls and
forever indebted to your once kind words.
so today, today, i will live in the
shadow
of your silence,
patiently,
until I can deal with myself
and how much I have fucked up:
i am conitnously learnin though.
i want to keep learning about
the different kinds of hearts
that get attracted to mine
and the qualities that i can
offer to keep them alive
rather than dead.
forgive me for being selfish,
for forgetting that boundaries
were meant to be respected.
i am continously learning and growing,
but no one told me it'd be this painful.
