ocean relief.

"I drowned my feelings in the sea,

I dried up over on the beach."

flashback.

There are moments when I forget who I was and what has happened to get me to the point where I am right now. But mental triggers bring back a fleet of memories and my mind is immersed in the fragmented narrative I subconsciously called forth. I can't believe I've gotten this far and it hasn't even begun yet. This is only the beginning of something much greater. This year sings my name in a tune I can't help but marvel in. I'm throwing my carcass into the river and I will not look back.

anxiety.

Lately, I get scared of the thought of people getting close to me. And even though I feel so fucking lonely, the thought makes me feel so angry and upset. She has all the winning marks and I'm just a loser miles behind. I don't want to care about these things, but time and time again I realize this is a crushing part of who I am and I need to learn to deal with it the best way. It's not fair she gets to forget with someone else, it's easier that way. But I want to forget too and being afraid of others is getting in the way of taking that option. I guess I don't know what to do, It doesn't matter anyways. Does anyone even care??

The Artist

I'm an artist and my heart thrives on the ecstasy of emotion. It fills me and drains me at the same alarming extremes. I let the motions of my heartbeat wash me away from this somber hole I fell into.